Please welcome my guest, Ruth Buchanan. You’ll enjoy her gift of humor in writing. Thank you, Ruth, for joining us today.
How to Wrap a Christmas Present: A Tutorial for Those Who Are All Thumbs
It’s the most wonderful time of the year!
Unless, like me, you’re not good at wrapping presents.
For me, present-wrapping frustration is due largely to the fact that although my hands may appear normal, they don’t function as standard hands should. Instead, they function more like two loosely associated organic organisms capped with a fanning array of ten differently-sized thumbs. As you can imagine, this setup makes for some package-wrapping difficulties.
If you find yourself facing a similar struggle, read on.
This helpful three-step blog post will have your package-wrapping issues sorted in record time, leaving you with even more time for curling up under the Christmas tree sipping a hot, Christmas coffee.
Assuming, of course, that you’re able to work the coffee maker with all those thumbs.
How to Wrap a Christmas Present
STEP ONE: Reshape.
Have you ever sat down to a challenging wrap job only to come to your senses hours later, lying in a drift of discarded wrapping paper clippings, arms covered in small cuts held closed by half-used tape ribbons, weeping softly and keening?
I mean, of course. Who hasn’t?
Depending what you’ve chosen to gift your loved one, you may need to reshape it first in order to ensure that it’s wrappable.
You have a wide array of choices. You can fit it into a large square box. You can throw a sheet over it and call it a day.
At any rate, remember that you have options.
STEP TWO: Relocate.
Although it may at first seem like a good idea to spread your wrapping operation across the living room floor, understand that doing so may lead to the embarrassment of dog hair, dust bunnies, and random fuzz stuck between those unforgiving strips of clear tape and the wrapping paper.
After realizing that you don’t have time to clean the house and wrap presents in one afternoon, you will contemplate in turns the kitchen counter (where the avalanche of unopened mail lives), the kitchen table (currently in use by three family members working on various projects), the hallway (too narrow), and the bathtub (too awkward) before coming to the conclusion that it might be much easier just to return all of the presents and just give everybody cash.
Before you resort to such drastic measures, consider Step Three.
STEP THREE: Outsource.
The good news is that for every reluctant gift wrapper, there are at least two high school fundraising volunteers standing at attention in pilled Santa hats or fake reindeer antlers, eager to do the job. All you have to do is chip in for new marching band instruments.
Availing yourself of their services ensures that paying someone to wrap presents isn’t lazy. It’s actually an investment in the community.
I’m not a first-class gift wrapper, but the reasons are more nuanced than what I’ve hinted at above. Yes, as I reference in the introduction, I’m not the world’s most coordinated person; however, my eagerness to outsource gift wrapping has less to do with the task itself and more to do with the time involved.
Time required to wrap presents is time I’d rather spend with the true gifts of my life—my friends, family, and loved ones.
And writing, of course. I’d much rather be writing.
Now pardon me while I go brew a cup of hot Christmas coffee and put that time saved to good use on my next project.
That’s a gift we can all enjoy.
Ruth Buchanan is a Christian freelance writer who holds degrees in ministry and theology. She writes fiction, non-fiction, plays, and sacred scripts. She’s an eager reader, an enthusiastic traveler, and the world’s most reluctant runner. Ruth loves Jesus, family, church, friends, and coffee. She lives and works in South Florida. You can learn more about her and her books by visiting RuthBuchananAuthor.com or following her on social media.
Check Out Murder on Birchardville Hill, a heartwarming tale of holiday mayhem.
Depressed at the prospect of spending another Christmas alone, successful crime podcaster Morgan Scott travels to the Endless Mountains of Pennsylvania to research a historic murder. But in the tiny village of Birchardville, past crimes and present dangers collide, placing both Morgan and the local residents in very real peril. This Christmas, there’ll be no silent night. Published by Pelican Book Group, Murder on Birchardville Hill is available in both e-book and audio book formats.